"Baby’s Breath" Excerpt

"Sometimes, when I lay awake at night, I hear laughter in the hallway. Other times, as sleep begins to claim my being, I see a flash of polished metal behind my eyes, colored the same as the knife was. More often than not, I scream. I scream and I cry. Not only out of fear, but also out of the aching sorrow I feel. The being I loved more than myself—and was also most scared of—is dead.

And my brother. My dead brother. Who I killed.

Though the words are hard to believe, even years later, they are true. I constantly have to remind myself that my hand did indeed push the knife into his heart. He had tried to kill me, however, and that is the only way I can even try to begin the process of forgiving myself. He succeeded in killing the twins. I can add them to the list of siblings I’ll never see again.

Sometimes, I wish I had been killed as well.”

J.M.B.

Here’s to the bad decisions we make
The kisses we will not remember
The hands we will never touch again
The empty bottle of Jack we just bought this morning
The words we did not mean to say
And the words we did mean to say but never did

See, life is series of choices
Forced upon us by circumstances we do not choose
They can be good choices
Or they can be bad choices
But that matters not
What matters is that it is that we make the choice
We want to make

Do not live by the actions on a predetermined script
While secretly wishing that you could appear on
Stage Left rather than Stage Right
You will grow to hate the sound
The director’s voice makes
Even though He “only wants to help”

Do not let yourself fall into
The novel which has already been written
And become a character you never wanted to be
Instead, be the author and create the life you want
The setting is of your creation
And the series of events depends upon you

Be your own protagonist
And never allow yourself to antagonize
The life you are working so hard
To create for yourself

Be the artist you are worthy of
And create whatever beautiful life pleases you
Make choices—
The good and the bad—
For choices make you
You

J.M.B.

I am a force to be reckoned with
The powerful waves of the sea
Are ravenous for the blood of
Those who try to stop me 
And the fast winds are ready 
To destroy any barricade in 
My way and the earth from which
I come remembers that I am a
Part of its beauty and will create
An unbreakable wall around my soul
While the flames of life begin
My journey with me to deliver 
Any justice that is needed
I have the elements on my side
And I am a force to be reckoned with

J.M.B

{Not My Photo}

I am a force to be reckoned with
The powerful waves of the sea
Are ravenous for the blood of
Those who try to stop me
And the fast winds are ready
To destroy any barricade in
My way and the earth from which
I come remembers that I am a
Part of its beauty and will create
An unbreakable wall around my soul
While the flames of life begin
My journey with me to deliver
Any justice that is needed
I have the elements on my side
And I am a force to be reckoned with

J.M.B

{Not My Photo}